Dwain Walden
May 17, 2008 10:58 pm
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I was watching a nature show the other night, and this fellow was showing a poisonous variety snake that was lying on a rock in the sun. I told my wife that before he got through, he would have to pick it up with his bare hands.
And the fact is, we could see it just fine lying there on the rock. The camera had already zoomed all around it. Picking it up didn’t really add anything to the program.
I think it’s an understood rule in nature shows that you have to show the viewing public that you can pick up a poisonous snake without getting bitten, although for most of us, the occasion never arises. If you want it to move, just poke it with a stick, it will slither away.
I enjoy some nature shows, but I’m also sometimes amused at them. Sometimes I’m even cynical.
Why does someone have to physically jump on the back of a crocodile after the noose is put over its snout. Don’t we have the technology to make devices that would help seize the critter? Did the crocodile really have to be moved in the first place? I realize there are a few rare circumstances where this might be necessary, but some of these shows would imply that most yards come equipped with a beast that must be removed before the owners can put up the kids’ swingset.
I discovered many years ago that it is much easier for me to move than to attempt to move the critter.
And then there’s that survivor guy who’s always going into desolate places and eating bugs and roots to survive. If you’re going in there intentionally, why not carry 10 pounds of trail mix and some Hershey bars? And for Pete’s sake, stop by the convenience store on your way to the wilderness and buy yourself a Zippo lighter.
Few people actually get stranded in the Australian outback. It would make more sense to show how a couple of golfers survived 18 holes after discovering that they left their cooler of beer in the pickup. And even then, you won’t see them fermenting berries and distilling the juice with spare parts from the golf cart. They’ll just get on their cell phones and call for backup.
Mountain climbers always amuse me. They are suffering frostbite, altitude sickness and other ailments. Why not just ask the camera crew to radio back down for the helicopter. And besides, what does climbing a mountain prove? It has no socially redeeming value, and there’s nothing at the top but a good view.
One night I saw a female hunter who had just shot a black bear. She had her two little kids with her, and she was kneeling down by the carcass rubbing its fur and telling the kids to feel how soft it was. It looked like the kids were about to freak out. Their mommy had just shot a cartoon character. And besides, she wouldn’t be cooking it for supper nor wearing its hide to the next PTA meeting.
Of course that’s just me. You may have anxiety issues over meeting up with a grizzly, getting stranded on a mountain or you may have an incredible urge to pick up a live, poisonous snake with your bare hands.
I’ve often wondered if animals can laugh. I’m sure God does. At least He must shake His head sometimes.
(Dwain Walden is editor/publisher of The Moultrie Observer, 985-4545. E-mail: dwain.walden@gaflnews.com)
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