A legend waiting to be born

Dwain Walden

June 16, 2007 10:36 pm

— The folks in Rock Bluff, Fla., may not have realized it yet, but they have a moneymaker right there in their backyard.
Last weekend, a “leaping sturgeon” struck a woman and knocked her unconscious. According to Associated Press, this was the second such incident recently. This is the stuff legends, or tall tales, grow from. It happened on the scenic and historic Suwannee River which adds to the marketing potential.
Given that sturgeons look rather prehistoric, this thing could take on “Loch Ness” proportions if properly handled, except that these things really exist, unlike “Nessie”, “Bigfoot,” and the “Abominable Snowman.”
These particular sturgeons can grow to be eight feet long and weigh 200 pounds. They have scales that resemble armor plating. They are naturally fitted for drama.
Neither of the two victims of these sturgeon had life-threatening injuries, but that could be stretched a bit for effect. Let Hollywood play with it a while, and it could become a threat surpassed only by “Jaws.”
Towns in the northwestern U.S. make fortunes selling the “Bigfoot” story. Coffee mugs, T-shirts and other stuff hawk an imaginary link between man and beast. Big things that go bump in the night will sell.
Certainly anglers could be enticed into such a marketing venture involving the sturgeon. And I say that not knowing what the rules are for fishing for sturgeon. For all I know, they may be a protected species.
So I’m wondering if the chamber of commerce in Rock Bluff has even considered the potential. Other communities might have their own freakish events that could be parlayed into marketing schemes.
Just a few years ago, it was discovered that a large python had killed an alligator in the Everglades. Actually, the python died in the process as well, but they must have really muddied the water before the event was over. That incident has been well documented and has brought about much study from scientists who fear that if these pythons should breed in the wild in that tropical environment, the balance of nature would be drastically upset.
It also has been documented that python owners have turned their pets loose in the wild after they became unmanageable. So there is some fear that other big pythons are growing even larger as they prey on other creatures in the Florida swamp. Hollywood could hurry that process.
Now if a movie producer wanted to really cash in on nature being turned topsey turvey, it could produce another “nature getting revenge” flick kind of like the old Alfred Hitchcock movies “The Birds” and “Frogs.”
Not every community has such events that can be embellished for profit. Here in Colquitt County, we have no major streams nor even any very large lakes to hide mysterious large creatures. During this recent drought, there were not that many bodies of water that could even support more than a couple of bass boats at one time. As well, we don’t have large enough wooded areas to conceal a “Bigfoot”.
So unless someone could produce a really large armadillo and claim that it uprooted his mobile home, we just don’t have that kind of “legend” potential.
Now I realize the sturgeon thing doesn’t happen every day. But it did actually happen twice. And just think, being knocked unconscious by one while riding a jet ski makes a heck of a story for the grandkids. But when it comes to parlaying these events into movies, it’s hard to get any renown actors to play the parts. These are cable channel “B” movies.
And I wouldn’t propose who should star in one of these “nature takes revenge” flicks. I would not suggest Paris Hilton or any of her frolicking cohorts. And that’s because the characters would have to be smarter than the fish or at least smarter than the fishing pole.

(Dwain Walden is editor/publisher of The Moultrie Observer, 985-4545. E-mail: dwain.walden@gaflnews.com.)