Moultrie Observer

Opinion

October 24, 2007

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bigfoot

I was going to let the Bigfoot thing alone for awhile. But two programs were on television last night at the same time that gave me more amusement than the comedy channel.

These Bigfoot stories came from Texas, Tennessee, Florida, Oklahoma and the Pacific Northwest. “They’re everywhere! They’re everywhere!”

My biggest laughter comes from the mountains of East Tennessee. This particular Bigfoot is a friendly sort, and one mountain woman claims to have been raised alongside a family of Bigfoots. She described (Channel 77 on my cable) how one came knocking on her door and asked to borrow some garlic. This Bigfoot spoke English. She said she thought the garlic was to help keep away ticks. She said he said “thank you” in a very deep voice. But I’m thinking it might have been the baritone singer for the Oak Ridge Boys, and her natural cures for arthritis were kicking in.

Then she went on to describe how she had watched this family of Bigfoots chase down a deer and butcher it. This commentary had a Bigfoot specialist from Russia on hand to compare notes with her. He re-enacted how the Bigfoot caught and killed the deer. Very fittingly, the Russian’s name was Igor.

Given the vernacular of this account, I’m surprised this Bigfoot didn’t also play the banjo.

This woman said she realized that a lot of people doubted her, especially when she said this Bigfoot spoke English. Of course my wife asked me what would I expect an American Bigfoot to speak ... French?

Well, this mountain woman is right about the doubt. I was cutting her some slack because of the ointments she probably uses, but that ended when she said Bigfoot asked to borrow some garlic. And anyway, I would think it was for cholesterol, not ticks.

Text Only
Opinion
Business Marquee
Facebook
AP Video
Disabled Veterans Memorial Nearing Completion Last Mass Lynching in U.S. Remains Unsolved Home-sharing Programs Help Seniors Ex-NYC Mayor: US Should Allow Flights to Israel Clinton: "AIDS-Free Generation Within Our Reach" Judge Ponders Overturning Colo. Gay Marriage Ban Airlines Halt Travel to Israel Amid Violence NYPD Chief Calls for 'use of Force' Retraining VA Nominee McDonald Goes Before Congress Bush: Don't Worry, Sugarland Isn't Breaking Up US Official: Most Migrant Children to Be Removed Police Probing Brooklyn Bridge Flag Switch CDC Head Concerned About a Post-antibiotic Era Raw: First Lady Says `Drink Up' More Water Courts Conflicted Over Healthcare Law Holder Urges Bipartisanship on Immigration Raw: Truck, Train Crash Leads to Fireball US Airlines Cancel Israel Flights Obama Signs Workforce Training Law Crash Victims' Remains Reach Ukraine-held City
House Ads
Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide
More
weatherradar
Seasonal Content
Poll

Should the U.S. negotiate with groups it considers terrorists?

No. Never.
Generally no, but prisoner exchanges are an exception.
Negotiation will be required to end the conflicts we have with those groups.
     View Results