Moultrie Observer

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December 23, 2012

And yet another doomsday prediction fails

MOULTRIE — I got up this morning and ran to the window and looked out. My front yard and my vehicles were still there, and I saw no strange creatures nor any smoke on the horizon. It’s Friday, Dec. 21 and that Mayan calendar projection of the world ending did not come to pass.

Actually, I was pretty confident when I went to bed on Thursday night that it wasn’t going to happen because it was already Dec. 21 in Japan, and there was nothing on the news about them being zapped away,

All week I had been watching National Geographic, Discovery and the History channels because they had all sorts of features about the Mayans. But one has to realize that these features are based on interpretations and speculations of stuff that was carved into rocks hundreds of years ago. I think many experts agree that the Mayans were really good at engineering and astronomy. But since we don’t have videos, voice recordings or a lot of documentation of what they were about and what caused them to disappear, then much room was left for interpretation. And when that happens, it generally leans toward the bizarre.

Most of these televised features included fog being pumped onto the set, Hollywood actors dressed up and painted like savages, and eerie music being piped in. Basically it’s the same approach used in Bigfoot and haunted house presentations. Unplug the fog machine and you’ve got nothing.

Based on what archaeologists could interpret from some of the drawings, these Mayans played a ballgame in which the captain of the losing team would get his head cut off. Let me tell you folks, I would have lost all pretense of macho on that one. Just let me play in the band or run the concession stand.

As well, there is strong indication that human sacrifice was a part of their concept of appeasing angry gods. Even though they may have been far advanced in engineering and astronomy, they apparently were very barbaric. I can only imagine what would happen to a kid who failed a math test back then.

All of this speculation was tied to Dec. 21, 2012, because that’s when the Mayan calendar ran out and there was supposed to be some peculiar alignment of the planets. But scientists say that we’ve had such alignments before and nothing significant happened. Now we can open the door for all other possibilities for their calendar ending on this date. Maybe it signals the Atlanta Falcons’ second trip to the Super Bowl. And maybe this time they win.

Well I know I’m really reaching for the stars in that scenario, but they have had a really good season thus far even though they get no respect from the analysts. But think about it. Their quarterback is Matt Ryan. And you can make the word “Mayan” from letters in his name.

Yes, I’m being facetious. He’s lost a few games along the way and only the defensive ends and a couple of line backers have tried to take Ryan’s head off.

Well, it’s over and we can get back to worrying about things that are real such as political corruption, wars in Third World countries, obesity, skin cancer, cellulite, enlarged prostates, setting up a playoff system for college football and cell phones that are getting too damn smart.

As intelligent as the Mayans were supposed to be, I’m curious as to why they didn’t invent the cigarette lighter or the trolling motor. It seems such a contrast to be able to build some of the structures they built and chart the heavens with such accuracy and then to roast their wieners over a fire built by rubbing sticks together. Go figure.

(Dwain Walden is editor/publisher of The Moultrie Observer, 985-4545. Email:


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