Moultrie Observer

Opinion

November 7, 2012

An 'eye in the sky' for Bigfoot?

MOULTRIE — There’s a professor at Idaho State University who is trying to raise $300,000 to build a blimp to help him find Bigfoot.

This will be a remote-controlled blimp with thermal imaging equipment so Professor Jeffrey Meldrum can sneak up on Bigfoot from his eye in the sky.

Meldrum is an anatomy and anthropology professor. You’ve got to wonder why his university is not sponsoring his project .... well, no you don’t.

Now I’m not going to bet that he won’t raise his $300,000. I can only be sure that I will not contribute. And I’m pretty sure my friend, The Earl of Stumpworth by The Ochlocknee, will not be aiding this project either. The Earl was born a skeptic and then had a relapse.

 His opinion on this subject is very simple: If Bigfoot was real, he would have been signed by an NBA team by now.

Even if I was a Bigfoot enthusiast,  I would run some scenarios before investing.

Let’s just say that this blimp is launched, and 30 minutes after takeoff it sends back photos of a marijuana field.

Then one hears a very loud explosion as a high powered rifle finds its mark. Of course the die-hard believers would say the blimp was brought down because Bigfoot hurled a rock at it. Or maybe even that Bigfoot now embraces the Second Amendment.

Just a week ago, that TV show “Searching for Bigfoot” came back on for “a new season.” But, they are showing reruns. If they didn’t find this alleged creature last season, what do you think the chances are that he will materialize in reruns?

I did some checking on this Meldrum fellow. He wrote a book titled: “Sasquatch: Legend Meets Science.” I haven’t read it.  I do,  however, occasionally watch one of those TV shows about this legend, purely for comic relief. I get a big kick out of watching some guy with two teeth describe what he saw that night on his way back from the outhouse. And the same guy is available to describe what a tornado sounds like when it blows the outhouse away.

Of course this Meldrum does have degrees and teaches at a college. Those people on “Searching for Bigfoot” don’t appear to be very scholarly, except one has a law degree.

In fact one of them, “Bobo”, looks as if they found him operating a Ferris wheel at a carnival and brought him along as a color commentator.

 They use his huge size so those people who have seen “things” can stand him out by the woodshed and make a physical comparison.

 Poor Bobo hasn’t picked up on the insinuation yet.

Now I don’t think this show was intended to be comedy, anymore than was “Barnaby Jones.” But then Viagra found its fortune at the opposite end of the torso from whence its research began. Things can miss their intended mark and still be very lucrative. Sometimes you dig for gold and find rubies. And sometimes you dig for gold, find rubies and then discover that the anticipated profits won’t even cover the costs of the environmental impact studies.

In my book there are sound reasons not to believe that Bigfoot exists, outside of the Earl’s logic. No skeleton or carcass of a Bigfoot has ever been found.

And as many novice hunters as there are who have shot horses and cows thinking they were deer — well, by now one would have killed a Bigfoot because he thought it was chasing his deer...or horse.

Supernatural stuff has always been with us. And I suppose there is socially redeeming value to a college professor building a blimp to spy on Bigfoot. It’s entertainment, and yes we need a good laugh now and then. Research says laughter is good therapy.

The supernatural, of course, always leaves us with more questions than answers. Along those lines, I still wonder why there has never been reports of a haunted mobile home.

(Email: dwain.walden@gaflnews.com)

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