Moultrie Observer

Opinion

January 15, 2010

On global warming

Dear editor:

In reference to Dwain Walden’s column titled, “But what if we’re wrong?”

Global warming is a danger to my warm heart. While in the state Senate, I often consulted with my political friend Coo Coo Harry when I needed straight talk. He had the ability to cut to the chase.

So I asked him about global warming. He said I should be careful because there were so many variables it could make me appear eccentric. He said one could arrange the variables to arrive at any preconceived point.

He said you should consider at one time glaciers covered the poles and took up a lot of water. For some reason they started to melt and flooded the earth. All of Florida and parts of Georgia, including Ellenton and China Grove, were under water.

This happened well before the Model T. A billion years ago, last August. None of Al Gore’s elite scientists have offered a reason for this warming. But reading his book one is led to believe that the complicated dynamic interaction resulting from dinosaur flatulence was part of it.

Later, there was a general cooling of the climate between 1150 and 1460 and a very cold climate between 1560 and 1850 resulted in the Little Ice Age. Turnips would not grow in Poland. The reason for the cooling was attributed to witches and some got burned at the stake, he explained.

It worked, the earth warmed up again and turnips grew in Poland again. This was before the Model A. This period of warming caused the polar ice cap to melt and in 1903-1906 Ronald Amundsen sailed the Northwest Passage in a sailing ship. The the polar ice cap froze again.

Satellite images show that rapid Arctic ice loss has cleared a shortcut between the Pacific and Atlantic oceans similar to the one existing in 1906. Now the witch hunters are back at their stations looking for a villain.

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