We often hear the slogan -- "inquiring minds want to know." Well, I think I have finally found something that absolutely no one wanted to know and even if we know it, it can do little to butter our bread or get our ox out of a ditch.

An Associated Press story tells us that two-legged dinosaurs that roamed what is now England normally walked pigeon-toed but turned their feet out slightly when they ran.

Folks, this is what we mean when we refer to a "slow news day."

So we have now identified pigeon-toed dinosaurs, something from 163 million years ago -- give or take a hundred thousand years.

Now don't get me wrong. I am not pooh poohing archaeology, paleontology or any other -ology. The past does interest me. When someone finds a dinosaur skeleton in his back yard, I'm intrigued by that.

As a kid I used to pick up old bones out in the woods and imagine that on this very spot a brontosaurus was once felled by a clan of cavemen who were planning a big weekend cookout. Except, of course, they didn't know what a weekend was, and I doubt they knew anything about sauce, either.

Then my dad would tell me later that this was where he buried the carcass of old Daisy, our milk cow that was struck by lightning. So then I would replace the bone with great reverence even though Daisy was bad about kicking over the milk bucket.

I even once fancied the thought of being a paleontologist. But then one day I came to a philosophical crossroads. I was perplexed over the issue of where one draws the line between archaeology and grave robbing. Besides, I didn't want to move to Egypt and since there are no pyramids in South Georgia, it was a moot point.

But simply put, I don't care whether a dinosaur was pigeon-toed or not. Scientists said that this information adds to the scanty evidence from tracks about the running ability of big two-legged dinosaurs.

Considering the primitive armaments during that time, I think it would be much more interesting to know how fast a pigeon-toed cave man could run.

I must admit that I wonder about a lot of superfluous stuff that I'm sure would have little, if any, socially redeeming value, but the footwork of dinosaurs has never been on my list.

I've often wondered why there is no one named Ralph in the Old Testament. And over in the New Testament, I've wondered if John the Baptist ever had a dog. I picture him walking in the wilderness with a border collie at his side. And there's no one in the New Testament named Ralph either.

I've wondered if fish think about what their minnows will grow up to be. And I've wondered what Gen. Custer's first sergeant said that day at the Little Big Horn about his fearless leader's ability to count.

And even though I've wondered about these things, I don't expect a college of great minds to do a thesis on any of it. It's just something to keep me occupied when the fish aren't biting.

So now I wonder if 100 million years from now scientists can conclude that politicians in the 21st century took deep breaths before they told a lie.

Dwain Walden is editor/publisher of The Moultrie Observer. You can call him at 985-4545, ext. 214. E-mail: dwain.walden@gaflnews.com.



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